Bizarre celebrity spot of the week – if not the year – comes from Liverpool. Writes a correspondent: “Was just behind Luis Suarez in the queue at Tesco on Mather Avenue. He was buying a load of sweets. “The lad on checkout virtually ignored him. When Suarez had left and it was my turn, I said to the lad 'That was Luis Suarez!' and he replied 'Yeah I know. He's in here buying sweets more often than I clock on. Nobody's arsed about it any more.’” OFF THE RAILS His long injury lay-off appears to have had a bizarre effect on Micah Richards. In footage released by Manchester City of players catching the train to London for yesterday’s semi-final, the full back can be heard singing a United chant – “hard to believe it’s not Scholes, it’s Carrick, you know.” Watch the video here: WEAR GRATEFUL FOR PAOLO Paolo di Canio’s controversial arrival in Sunderland has made one group of shopkeepers very happy. Our friends in the North-East claim that ahead of Sunday’s Tyne-Wear derby, fancy dress shops in the Toon had completely sold out of German and Italian World War II uniforms, together with Hitler costumes. Meanwhile the Italian has revealed the striking jumper he wore against Chelsea comes from the clothes shop he owns in Rome. Di Canio is promising to wear more from the store for the duration of the season – but denies there is a commercial motive! FOOTBALL GAFFES Heard a gaffe? Tweet to #FootballGaffes or email “I can see Wayne Rooney being pulled off…” – ALAN GREEN “It’s about the smell of the play” – BRENDAN RODGERS “'Tottenham have lost all their European quarter finals since they last won one” – CLIVE TYLDESLEY "The Villa keeper, Brad Goujon" – MICKEY QUINN “You know what is coming when the referee is reaching for his top pocket – it's not going to be a toaster” – OUR VERY OWN MARK LAWRENSON “It was a case of footballing korma" – MARK SAGGERS "And for the first time, Callum McManaman has scored as many goals in a season as there are syllables in his name" – JON CHAMPION Spotters: Teddy Taylor, El Presidente HOUSE THAT POSSIBLE, RAFA? The Rafa Benitez camp’s attempts at damage limitation following last week’s controversial interview appear to have misfired. After the Chelsea caretaker was quoted as saying he would return to Liverpool one day, one of his apologists phoned Anfield to claim that Rafa had not been talking about management, but had meant he would be coming back to live in the city at some point in the future. That argument failed to impress as Benitez already has a house in Liverpool and goes back there twice a week. THATCHER'S CUP GAFFE Margaret Thatcher – who, according to the Daily Mail, saved football – certainly made a big impression when she was among the guests of honour at the 1978 FA Cup final. Asked by TV afterwards to name her man of the match, she responded: “I thought the No.10, Whymark, played very well.” Alas, Trevor Whymark hadn’t played at all – he’d dropped out of Bobby Robson’s side with injury and David Geddes took his shirt instead. WICKED WHISTLE Which highly-rated youngster, who seems certain to leave his club in summer, has annoyed team-mates by buying three flash new cars since January? CARR-N'T GET HIM INTERESTED Newcastle chief scout Graham Carr’s turn of phrase is a match for that of his son, toothy comedian Alan. Carr Snr told Backpass Magazine: "I suppose there was always the odd clue about how Alan would turn out when he was a lad. He never liked getting his hands dirty and I laugh now when l think about trying to get him and his brother Gary to run up hills and play with a football. "Of course, we know now that we would have been better off concentrating on dancing and a balloon.” ALVIN A MEMORY LAPSE "It&ar against RB Leipzig after their 1-1 draw at Burnley.Lloris, who was partially culpable for Burnley ‘s goal because he spilled Jay Rodriguez’s shot for Wood to score, was heartened Spurs had stopped the rot ahead of their Champions League showdown wipos;s been a while since Barcelona kept a clean sheet," advised Talksport's lead analyst Alvin Martin ahead of their Champions League draw with PSG. Wise words – Barca’s 5-0 thumping of Real Mallorca came a massive four days earlier! FOOTBALL DREAMS We’re collts boss Nigel Pearson wants the former Middlesbrough defender who has had a miserable time at Turf Moor since signing for £13million.Pearson is keen to take Gibson on loan and give him a better chance of first team action at Vicarage Road.Burnley waecting your weird dreams about footballers – if you’ve had one, Tweet to #FootballDreams or email From @imnotasian1994: “Had a dream last night that Michael Duberry bought out Tesco. Don't know what he was doing.” From @MJMaxwell: “I once dreamt Dominic Matteo was the Rabbi at my wedding in a treehouse.” From @KyloRCKelly: “Me and Paul Scholes delivered a baby at Euston Underground station.” From @TomEMorrison: “I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that I went abseiling with Celestine Babayaro.” From @Joel17Williams: “Dreamed I was playing poker in a sauna with Johnny Evans.” From @ScottJonesy: “Les Ferdinand bought me a lemonade. We were in an episode of The Simpsons at the time.” NINE-GOAL THRILLER SEEN BY NONE Not usually much sympathy around for fans who have witnessed a game that finishes 5-4. But spare a thought for the supporters of Conference side Woking. The Cards were 5-0 up at half-time against Macclesfield, who replied with four in the second half. The main stand at Kingfield housing the majority of the 1,500 Woking fans is at one end of the pitch. All nine goals went in at the other end!